something

Lest I lose this dream

the world's beauty would be lost forever

To forget a found passion

would bring me to futility and to tears

Thought of time continuing as normal

could ruin the art of finding the new and unique

Tutorials behind, Alps ahead

So, here I sit, 7:16 p.m. in my bed in my cozy little dorm-like room, preparing for my spring break trip to Germany and Switzerland. By preparing, I mean catching up on ugly betty and the office from last night and enjoying a warm, peanut butter, kit-kat cookie that my room mate just baked. 

Today, I had my last tutorial. Although last Thursday, I was pretty ecstatic to be done with my theology tutorial, the one today was a bit different. Well, we have been studying Romantic poetry for the past 8 weeks, and I have read hundreds of poems and written eight (stellar) essays on authors like Wordsworth, Byron, Shelley and Anna Barbauld. I have SO enjoyed time spent every week reading poetry, dissecting it, then talking with my amazing tutor about it. And we usually end up talking about random soap boxes, things like feminism (which is a good thing, in case you were wondering). Also, English essays are so fun to write. I get to put in my opinion, use lots of quotes from books and not be quite as serious as articles for the newspaper are. 

But anyway, a chapter of my Oxford experience closed today, sadly. I had my last tutorial at 9 a.m. today and left glad to be done, but also sad that my tutorial days are over. Also, the Oxford students are leaving this weekend because their terms is done, so I will miss observing their intellectual ways and snazzy fashion sense. 

After surviving 8 weeks of tutorial, I really feel like a changed student. Even tonight as I was watching Ugly Betty, she was asked at a dinner party to talk about the history of opera. As she was coming up with an educated answer about something she knew nothing about, I, weirdly, was too. Being with a professor who knows everything about the subject you're studying for an hour and asking sometimes crazy curve-ball questions can really help you think on your feet. At the end of these eight weeks, I feel more prepared to answer hard questions, to come up with questions and to not feel awkward sitting for a minute staring into your tutor's fireplace to come up with an intelligent answer. And sure, I failed answering questions a few times, but mostly, I tried my best and got the hang of it. I find myself not shying away from intellectual conversations and not relying so much on dictionary.com to give me a definition for a word or thought.

Now, with my tutorial experience conquered, I am off to conquer the wonders of southern Germany and Switzerland with two girlfriends. We will be traveling from Frankfurt to Heidleburg then to Munich for a few nights. Then, we are going to see the Neuschwanstein castle (aka Disney stole their castle architecture from this castle) then on to Thayngen, Switzerland. We are renting a car, so I'm super excited about a fun and scenic road trip! Wooh!

Stealing Away

Yesterday, i spent a glorious few hours of my afternoon on a bench in the University Parks, which is a two minute walk from my house. (The picture to the left is my shadow as I take a picture of the river in front of my bench.)

After I took a power walk/run through the park to work off the pancakes I ate for breakfast, I went back to the park for sit for awhile. Although I didn't really need to exercise, because I walk miles every day just getting around, it was SOOOOO beautiful outside. And even though I am incredibly sore right now, I am still glad that I got out and sweat some.

I joined the many Oxfordians who ran to the park, with their kids and dogs, to bask in the cold, windy, but still cheerful English sun. 

This afternoon was such a symbol of my time here in Oxford:

1. I have got to spend a lot of time thinking by myself. I have learned that it is not that scary, but rather empowering to explore and think on your own.

2. My flexible weekly schedule allows me to have such freedom with what I do every day. It is great that through this, I can find time to listen to what God is speaking to me, journal, read and talk with others.

3. Even though there are cloudy days (like today) a lot and sometimes I miss home, Jason and familiarity a lot, I am always excited to get up every morning and embrace the day. Each day is new and fresh, and God is teaching me to hope in the future instead of fear it.

And Everything Was Alright

And Everything Was Alright

Sorry that it has been so long since I have posted. My internet was on the fritz for about 3 weeks, but somehow, mainly by a miracle of God, it is working fine now, yeah!

Everything at Oxford is going splendidly! I feel like I finally feel adjusted and in my routine here. I am really being challenged/enjoying my tutorials, and I have had the chance to go to London twice. It was a blast to go to museums, shop and enjoy the city life there.

Also, I feel like I'm kind of getting the hang of this grocery shopping and cooking thing. Ok, so pb&js are always a great fall back, but I'm really enjoying all of the fresh produce and wednesday open market days.

God has been really inspiring me in so many ways, too. Especially through the cell group that I am in at St. Aldates. It is WONDERFUL to have intelligent and deep conversations about God there and think critically about life and justice. This is also the only place where I have been successful in meeting British people. It is sooo hard to meet Brits here, especially when they are only here for another 4 weeks. Lame.

I have been reading Romantic poetry for the last 3 weeks of my Lewis Tutorial, and that has been simply amazing. I have always written poetry for a hobby, but I never thought I would be studying it. 

Overall, God has amazing plans to reveal himself to me through every rainy or icy day, through every conversation with a new friend and through quite moments reading in an amazingly beautiful library or a local, cozy coffee shop.

As C.S. Lewis said, "The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisley one's real life- the life God is sending one day by day."

I only have 2 months left here, so I'm trying to live it up and relish every interruption in my day. This has also lately included learning how to be patient and how to get to know people who are different than me. This is tricky, but God is helping me through it.

Cheers!

George MacDonald anyone?

Since I have been on a George MacDonald kick for this past week, thanks to my C.S. Lewis tutorial, I thought I would share some of my favorite words and poems from Phantastes.

Through the realms of the monarch Sun
Creeps a world, whose course had begun,
On a weary path with a weary pace,
Before the Earth sprang forth on her race:
But many a time the Earth had sped
Around the path she still must tread,
Ere the elder planet, on a leaden wing,
Once circled the court of the planet's king.

There, in that lonely and distant star,
The seasons are not as our season are;
But many a year hath Autumn to dress
The trees in their matron loveliness;
As long hath old Winter in triumph to go
O'er the beauties dead in his vault below;
And many a year the Spring cloth wear
Combing the icicles from her hair;
And Summer, dear Summer, hath years of June,
With large white clouds, and cool showers at noon:
And a beauty that grows to a weight like grief,
Till a burst of tears is the heart's relief.

Children, born when Winter is king,
May never rejoice in the hoping Spring;
Though their own heart-buds are bursting with joy,
And the child hath grown to the girl or boy;
But may die with cold and icy hours
Watching them ever in place of flowers.
And some who awake from their primal sleep,
When the sighs of Summer through forests creep,
Live, and love, and are loved again;
Seek for pleasure, and find its pain;
Sink to their last, their forsaken sleeping,
With the same sweet odours around them creeping.

-And if you made it through all of that and want more, here is my fav. quote of today:

"The result of selfish or hoarded love is ultimately spiritual as well as physical death."
(I think this was in a reference book, so I'm not sure who said it.)

Anyway, I hope you enjoy these beautifully crafted words as much as I have.

-Grace

Rockin' Oxford

With a 21st birthday over, orientation over and a week of life in Oxford under my belt, I am finally feeling good. I am beginning to feel that I belong here. I know that God has sent me here, and I am excited to delve into just exactly why.

Here are a few things that I have learned recently:
-I like change, but I am one of those people that takes time to adjust.
-I love communication. When Skype does not work, I begin to have a temper. But seriously, I am a loyal person, so I like keeping up with everything in friend's and family's lives.
-I like being independent. It makes me feel cool, on my own and grown up (like when I walk back to my house at night in my warm clothes, rocking by myself to my ipod).
-I really enjoy experiencing new things. For instance, being a part of worship with a room full of students that I did not know, but who were really seeking after God was amazing. Seeing God in a new, fresh light and new venue is so refreshing.

This week I begin my reading-intense (eek!) lecture and tutorial regime. I am ready to let go of my worries and failings and dive in to the work.
In the words of some rock band (that was quoted on School of Rock):
"We roll tonight to the guitar bite, and for those about to rock, I salute you."

New

Wow!
I am in Oxford, finally, and starting to adjust to all of the new things that I have encountered in the past few days.
This morning when I woke up and remembered I was in England, I was a little sad and wondering how I was going to not miss home for 4 months. I was also a bit sad because it was Jason and my 4 month anniversary and for the fact that he could not be here.
Then, I kind of just said a little prayer that God would help me to get used to things and enjoy the people here.
Again, I am discovering that prayer and good intentions work.
I got to meet a bunch of great girls from the other house that I really connected and had fun with. We got to explore the city center and even go to our first pub: the Eagle and Child (you might know it as the meeting place of the Inklings, which included C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien!) It was awesome and a fun taste of Oxford.
After today's adventures, I am feeling much more excited about the semester and ready to dive into exploring, making friends, studying and pubbing! =)

Jumping In

new beginnings
things dying things living
needing both to survive
to thrive more than normal
requiring extra
comes with this soon change
more self
to walk confidently in
more faith
that my legs will be fast enough
more room
to fill with whom I will become

In about 12 hours I will be heading out with England as my destination. After many tears, anxiety and butterflies I FINALLY feel ready. Thank God for all of his blessings, especially all of the prayers that have been prayed over me recently.
I'm jumping, hoping I will fly. I will let you know how it goes!

-Grace